I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
