I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she told me i tasted like america
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
