Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
