that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
