I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
