Are we in a gay sports bar?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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