i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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