am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize