Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just had sex bonerless
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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