im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
