it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
