are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
