Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
