Only a mothe r could love this liver
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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