the new term for farting is butt boxing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
