did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
