I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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