Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
