i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
