Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
