Yo dont text me then not text me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
