Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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