I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
