How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
