my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
