It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
