Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
