you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
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I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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