you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize