my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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