If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
