Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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