It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
