? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
