What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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