2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
