just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just cropdusted the office
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
