There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
