first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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