I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
