The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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