Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
