I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
do herpes really smell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize