he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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