Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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