I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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