Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
