On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
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At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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