White coat. Heels.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
