NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
