We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
