Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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