He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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