come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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