Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
babies were throwing up all over the place
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
