so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
