I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You can't motorboat a personality
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
