He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
