I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
