Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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