I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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