also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
