So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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