they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
