There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
