I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
