There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
someone owes me an orgasm
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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