Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
