just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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